You Give Me A Headache
by antilogicgirl
Summary: After being a hermit for eight years, Jiraiya returns to Konoha for serious research not the pervvy kind, for once. He has to stay with someone who gives him a headache, and deal with people who may kill him.
1. Sneaking Into Town?

**A/N: **Here's another bout of exhausting inspiration for you. I've been wanting to do a Jiraiya fic. But until today, I couldn't figure out how to do it. Then, I was listening to some music (as I am wont to do when thinking), and "Hometown" by Chamber began to play. Oooh. That did it. And Voila. Here you have what I think is a nice fic. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the angsty love! This is rated for a bit of limey action in the bathtub.

**Legal Stuffiness:** I don't own Naruto, silly.

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Time period: Um, not sure about the math. Brain hurts. Just suffice it to say that Jiraiya and Tsunade are around 28 (note: Dan is not in the picture. I've ignored his existence. So there.).

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**You Give Me A Headache**

He was tired. How long had it been since he'd slept in a real bed? At the moment, it didn't matter. He looked around, sighing. His hometown looked much as it had when he'd left. For half a second, he wondered why it was that he'd changed his appearance to come home for his research. Then, he remembered. There were those here that would not be that happy to see him. He adjusted the small pack on his back, and then pulled off his headphones. The music still blared, and he couldn't quite reach the "off" switch on the portable CD player just now, so he'd have to let it go until he could get into a place where he could sit and have a drink.

Sake. That blessed nectar of the gods, awaited him, somewhere nearby. He knew this, because this was his hometown. He would have sake, lounge, relax, then find a room. And he would avoid anyone he knew, like they had the plague. That meant not going to the bath house, like he really wanted to. He needed a good soak, with all of the traveling he'd done in the past year.

There was a bar not far away. He saw the sign, and smiled. All he had to do was get in there, and he wouldn't have to worry about anything, for at least a few hours. Until the sake wore off. Then, he could worry. As he entered the nearly-empty bar, he looked around for any sign of people he might know. There was no one, so he went to a table in the back, sheltered from the door by screened partitions, and sat. He signed in relief, and toed off his sandals. Flexing his toes, he smiled. Damn, but it felt good to be off of his feet.

"What can I get you, sir?" The young serving girl asked him.

He didn't even look at her. "Sake, please. A _large_ sake." The girl giggled at his tone, showing just how young she was. He wondered briefly how a girl of younger than fifteen was working in a bar. Then, he turned his thoughts back to the task at hand: lounging. His backside slid closer to the edge of his seat, and he let the back of his head rest on the seat back. "Ahh."

"You look comfortable." His eyes shut tightly. That voice was too familiar. Maybe if he just closed his eyes, they'd go away. "Look at me, Jiraiya." He opened his eyes to see exactly who he'd expected. A woman, of average height, slender, with blonde hair and far above-average sized breasts. He knew better than to leer, because she'd nearly killed him for that when he was fifteen. "What are you doing here, you pervert?"

She slid into the booth opposite him. He really didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He was here for research, and not for his new book. There were things that had been troubling him, and he needed to resolve them. Quietly. "Tsunade, please. I need to remain…anonymous."

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she lowered her voice. "Well, then, why are you here?"

"I can't tell you that, woman. Now, please, leave me be." He rubbed his temples, eyes closed. Why did she always give him a headache? There was a reason he'd left. And she was sitting right in front of him. He kept his eyes closed, and remained silent. Maybe, if he didn't say anything, and ignored her, she would go away. Maybe. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to feel her sitting there across from him, staring at him, asking questions, and looking like she wanted to kill him, all at the same time. Jiraiya's head felt like it was going to split in half. He hadn't had a Tsunade headache in nearly eight years.

"Can you tell me how _long_ you'll be in Konoha?" He still didn't open his eyes to look at her. Tsunade, he knew, was looking at him, those brown eyes boring holes into him, her arms crossed under her more than ample bosom. Her mouth would be twisted into that half-frown-half-smile, the one that said she was both annoyed and amused. He sighed. Why did it have to be _her_ that recognized him?

"I'll be here for a month. Now, please, leave me alone. I've got a splitting headache, I've been walking for a week, and I need sake." He leaned his head back against the cushioned booth again. She still wasn't going away. Damn her. He could feel every muscle in his body tensing. Damn her. He felt like she was going to hit him any moment. It was a feeling born of many years of experience dealing with this woman. Jiraiya's instincts where the other jounin were concerned were very accurate. It was just that he seldom followed the advice that those instincts gave him.

He heard a loft clinking noise, and knew that the girl had come with his sake. He reached out blindly, but before he could even touch the cup he knew to be there, Tsunade said, "Bring another, and another cup." He groaned. She was staying. Why did she feel the need to do this to him? He had always had the distinct impression that she did _not_ enjoy his company, and only tolerated it when they were younger because they had been on the same team. Thrown together, so to speak. So why was she staying?

The only comfort he took was that the sake would get rid of his headache. That was the only thing that ever helped his mood when she was around. Half opening one eye, he watched her watching him. She sat, as expected, in the precise way that he'd seen in his mind's eye. He sighed. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And she was the most evil creature on earth. She drove him insane, with her sneering smiles. He just wanted to yell at her to get the hell out of his booth, but he simply didn't have the energy.

When he closed his eye again, she made a noise in the back of her throat. Not quite a cough, but almost. Just to get his attention. He sat up straight, looking over at her. She seemed satisfied that he was not going to fall asleep. He reached over to take the sake bottle—rather large after all, thank goodness—and pour himself a cupful. Once it was full, he raised it to his nose, smelling it. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. He drank.

"Do you have a place to stay, Jiraiya no baka?" He nearly spit out his sake. Instead, he swallowed it, trying not to seem as shocked as he was.

"No, not really. I was going to find an inn." He poured himself another cup. This time, he started to sip slowly, not just gulping it down as before. That was much better. He was _not_ going to ask her why she was asking so many questions. He wasn't. He was just tired, and he wasn't going to play whatever game it was she wanted to play. Jiraiya was sure that she was playing some kind of game, because he could feel the amusement coming off of her. How could he get rid of her?

Escape or getting rid of her seemed nowhere in sight, however, because the too-young serving girl brought Tsunade's sake, and the woman grunted her thanks, immediately pouring a cup and downing it. It was only two in the afternoon. He hoped that she didn't have any missions to complete. The way things were looking, she was going to be completely drunk by around _two thirty_ in the afternoon.

Jiraiya suddenly realized that he'd been staring. He looked away, and Tsunade spoke again, after her second cup of sake. "Why don't you come and stay with me? I have an extra bedroom."

There was no hiding his shock. His mouth hung open, and he lowered his cup slowly to the table before saying, "Huh?" For a moment, he laughed at himself in his own head. He was just so…articulate. "Tsunade, I'm trying to lay low. How am I supposed to do that if I'm staying with you? The sheer amount of chakra concentrated in such a small space will be like a beacon." He sighed. She was looking at him, those brown eyes boring into him, a slight alcohol induced blush on her cheeks. With one eyebrow raised, she formed a familiar expression. This face said, _Just try to say no, Jiraiya no baka. See what happens._

He was not going to argue with her. He couldn't. But the sake wasn't helping his headache just yet, so he downed another cup quickly, willing the alcohol to do its work, and receiving another sharp twinge of pain in his head for the trouble. For what seemed like the hundredth time, he sighed, and let his eyes drift shut. "Why?"

"Excuse me?" Her voice drifted over to him, as if on a light breeze.

"Why would you invite me to stay with you? You don't even like me." He paused momentarily, then amended himself. "No, I'm pretty sure you hate me." Eyes still closed, he nodded. Yes. That was it. She hated him. Hated his face, his hair, his voice, the way he looked at her, everything. He set his cup back down on the table, and rubbed at his closed eyes with the heels of his hands, groaning with fatigue. When his hands came down from his face, he felt another hand, very quickly. Tsunade performed a perfect full-arm slap to Jiraiya's face. _That's a first. I didn't even make any lewd remarks. _His eyes flew open, staring at her.

Her mild annoyance with him had blossomed into full-fledged anger. An angry Tsunade was dangerous, indeed. The proof was still stinging on his cheek. He blinked, and blinked again. She was still staring at him, boring holes into him, but she was looking directly into his eyes. Jiraiya was, for the first time in years, truly frightened. "How _dare_ you say that, Jiraiya?" Her voice was barely a whisper, though he heard it loud and clear. She looked like she was going to rip his arms off. Then, she shook herself, gathering her thoughts. Her tone was low and dangerous. "No. You will not argue. You are going to stay with me. Finish your sake." Jiraiya frowned. He hated being ordered around. He despised it, actually. But he wasn't about to get himself killed because he had an authority problem.

"Yes, ma'am." The two of them sat in silence for the next half hour, drinking their sake. When Jiraiya was through, he slipped his shoes back on, and stood, swaying slightly. He hadn't eaten anything today. Maybe the sake hadn't been such a good idea, after all. Tsunade rose as well, and was far more collected, though she did still have a flush on her cheeks. She turned her head to see him, and crooked a finger at him.

"Follow me, Jiraiya no baka."

In his sake-soaked mind, he sulked. He hated it when she did this. She would put on that oh-so-superior "my grandfather was Hokage" attitude, and push him into doing something he certainly didn't want to do in the first place. Why did he let her? Usually, there was a lame excuse. Right now, he was just tired. He needed a bath, and sleep. Then he could worry. When he was rested, sober, and clean, then he could worry. His research was something of a worry in and of itself.

After about twenty minutes of him trailing behind her, they came to her apartment. He didn't know how she could afford such a nice place on a jounin's salary, but he wasn't going to question. Jiraiya was going to be able to sleep in a real bed, for the first time in about a month, and he wouldn't care if it was in Konoha Prison. The place was spacious, with creamy walls. The living room was large, with a few chairs, a couch, and a table. However, the overwhelmingly obvious feature of the room were the bookcases. There were six large cases full of books. In fact, it was a wonder that he could see any of the creamy painted walls at all.

"Tsunade, can I use your shower? I smell." The woman stepped into the apartment after him, then walked over to where he stood. She took an experimental sniff at his chest, and wrinkled her nose.

"You're right. It's the second door on the right down the hall. Watch your head in the shower. It's a bit small for you." She seemed amused at the thought of him hunched over in the shower. For once, he thought he could see her mind swerving into the gutter. His suspicions were confirmed when he raised a questioning eyebrow. "What are you looking at me like that for, baka? Go and clean yourself up before smell up the entire place!" Yep. Defensive. Her mind was in the gutter, all right.

"Okay. But if the shower's too short, I'm gonna take a bath. Not keen on smacking my head on the ceiling." He trudged down the hall without waiting for her answer. She was just going to have to deal with a dirty bathtub, as far as he was concerned. This wasn't his idea, anyway.

Unlike most of the apartment, the bathroom did not have cream-colored walls. This was obviously a special place for Tsunade. The walls were a deep blue, and there was a thick white rug in the middle of the pale green tiled floor. A shelf of a few choice books was set next to the tub, as well as a small cupboard, most likely containing bath supplies. Apparently, this was the only place the woman truly relaxed. Jiraiya dropped his pack to the floor, and walked over to the oval-shaped tub. The ceiling wasn't too low, but he thought that since he couldn't go to the bath house, he would have a nice soak here, instead.

Once he got the water running, he released the jutsu that had changed his hair color, eye color, and the set of his nose. He thought it had been sufficient. He'd even changed the length of his hair, but it apparently wasn't that great, because Tsunade had seen through it. Looking in the mirror, Jiraiya frowned. Prematurely white hair stuck out in all directions, and he still had those red tattoos on his face, as if he were crying blood. He felt old. Knowing very well that he was only twenty-eight did no good. His father used to say that one was only ever as old as they felt.

Snorting, he thought he must be about a hundred and fifty at the moment. Then, he looked at the clothes he was wearing. Again, he had thought them sufficient. A dark red kimono, with a pale green sash both of which fit him well, and _he_ had thought that they looked nice. Oh, well. He reached into his pack, and pulled out a small packet of medicinal salt, putting some into the water. The stuff smelled like antiseptic, but it really helped to work the knots out of his muscles. God knew he needed it at the moment. Just being in Tsunade's presence made him…ansty. He always felt like she was going to hit him.

To cover up the smell of the bath salt, he thought that maybe Tsunade had some kind of bath oil, or bubble bath. Maybe he could use some of that? Surely she would have something. Women always seemed to have such frivolities. Opening the small cabinet, he indeed found a large container of bubble-bath. The label said that it smelled like lemon grass and ginger. _Can't argue with that._ He liked both of those things, so they couldn't be bad when you put them together. When he took it out and opened it, he sniffed, and thought it was nice, but that a little would go a long way.

Jiraiya took some of it in his hand, and let the hot water rinse it from his fingers. Once the tub was filled with steaming water and bubbles, he put the container back into the cupboard, then removed his clothes. The head plate that he'd taken to wearing joined the kimono on the floor, and he settled himself into the water. The heat worked into him, loosening his muscles, burning away his annoyance at Tsunade. After a moment, he dunked his head under the bubble-covered water, and then came back up. Damn, but that felt good. He wiped the bubbles from his face, and then just leaned back in the tub.

He could see why women liked taking bubble baths now. He felt himself becoming slightly sleepy, and contented. There was a clean washcloth sitting on the edge of the tub, and he took that and plunged it into the water. After he wrung most of the water from it, he flicked it open and put it over his face. Breathing in the steam from the cloth, he felt something in his chest loosen. He hadn't even known that tightness was there.

"You look comfortable." Behind the cloth, he began to blush. _What the devil is that woman doing in here?_ Jiraiya peeled the cloth from his face, and looked toward where the voice had come from. Tsunade was standing near the sink, leaning on the counter. If he hadn't been so relaxed from the water and the sake, and so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open, he'd have yelled at her to get out.

Instead, he smiled. "Taking up peeping, Tsunade?"

"It isn't peeping if the person knows they're being watched." She had a point, but she still hadn't stated her purpose for intruding into his private time. He _liked_ his private time. That was one of the many reasons why he'd become a hermit at the tender age of twenty. There were just far too many reasons for him not to continue the life of service that he'd forced himself into as a child…

"What do you want, Tsunade?" His frown deepened, brow creasing. "I'm trying to relax. Can't do that if you're in here." Trying to wave a dismissive hand at her turned into his arm merely flopping over the edge of the bath, fingers grazing the cool tiles. It sent a shock of cold up his arm. Damn, but that felt good.

"Why are you here, Jiraiya? You aren't acting like yourself." She was advancing toward him, and sitting on the bench by the tub. This was making him thoroughly uncomfortable.

"How would you know how I act? I'm a hermit." His logic only really made sense in his own head, he knew, but he said it, and was sure that she was going to start something. He closed his eyes. If he didn't have to look at her, he could forget the fact that he was naked. Maybe.

"I'm being serious." He could hear her shifting on the bench.

"So am I, Tsunade. You apparently feel that you know how it is I'm supposed to be acting. You haven't seen me in eight years. I've lived alone for eight years, in many different places. I have learned much, and forgotten even more. So please, don't assume that you know anything at all about me." He dunked himself back under the water, wishing he could stay there. But, as he was human, he had to breathe eventually. He came back up, sputtering and wiping bubbles from his face.

Tsunade was still there. Damn her. Why was she still there? Wait. When had she moved? The woman sat on the edge of the bath. For a long moment, he looked into her face, and saw the same anger there that he'd seen in the bar. He was, to put it lightly, in a compromising position. The best he could hope for was that she didn't kill him. He could live with being maimed, but he didn't think that his spirit could rest peacefully if he got killed by a big-breasted bitch of a woman who…was…what _was_ she doing?

That question was answered quickly. Her hand reached into the water and took the cloth from him, and then started to rub slow circles over his left shoulder.

Water trickled down his back from the cloth, and he tried unsuccessfully not to shiver. Tsunade's face was strangely serene as she ran the cloth over his skin, looking not at his face, but at the bits of his body she washed. After less than ten seconds of this treatment, his brain simply shut down, abandoning its original task of trying to figure out what she was up to, if anything.

Jiraiya's eyes slid shut, and his head tilted back to meet the wall. The cloth was now making its circles over his neck and chest, the water running over his skin in a way he had never known it could, sending tingles through his body. With a groaning sigh, his entire body seemed to relax. He hadn't realized that he'd tensed. There was a soft noise, and he felt a weight settle onto his thighs.

Brain starting back up again, he opened his eyes and removed his head from where it had been resting. He blinked. Tsunade had come into the bathtub, in her jounin uniform. "Um, Tsunade?" He seemed to recall distinctly a conversation they'd had just over eight years before. She had said she wouldn't go near him if he was the last man on earth. Granted, he'd just said something he shouldn't have, but really, no one says that sort of thing and goes back on it. Do they? At that moment, his brain went into overdrive. _This is it. I'm a dead man. She's gonna freakin' kill me! _He tried to press himself into the wall, but it wasn't working. _Damned tiles._

Now he didn't feel the cloth anymore. It had been replaced by hands that were calloused but still oddly feminine. As his mind raced, his heart decided it was going to try to jump out of his chest, and he sat there, frozen. What _was_ she doing? The woman shifted, one of her hands leaving his chest. It reached to her own thigh, and he heard a familiar noise. She had unsnapped her kunai holster. Still, he couldn't move, even though she was obviously about to carve him up. The sound of metal grating against leather was muffled by the water, and then he saw it. In the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom, the kunai glinted eerily.

She met his eyes, her expression still serene. He wondered how anyone could look so peaceful and beautiful just before the killed someone. Tsunade's wrist flicked, and the kunai flew. Everything went black, but only because she'd taken out the light fixture. The room completely dark, he could feel the blackness pressing against him, just like the body that was sitting on his legs. Speaking of said body…it started shifting its position.

Tsunade slid herself further up his thighs, and pressed herself against him. Was he dreaming? Was he really that drunk? Was she? Now there was a horrifying thought. If she was drunk, then how bad off was he? He'd had three times as much sake as she did. He swallowed audibly. If this was some kind of alcohol induced hallucination, then why did it feel so real? Drawing a shaky breath, he reached out and took her by the shoulders and pulled her away from him.

"Are you all right, Tsunade?" If you wanted to talk about people not acting like themselves, this was as unlike Tsunade as you could get. She had said she wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. She'd said that he was an idiot. She said he was a pervert. She said—then, he realized that he was doing the same thing she had. He was assuming that she was the same person she had been when he still lived in Konoha. Biting back a curse at his own stupidity and narrow-mindedness, he simply gave in.

Allowing himself to hold her, he pulled her to his chest. She lay her head on his shoulder. This felt…nice. Her voice came then, muffled. "Why did you leave?" This, he did not want to answer. If she had asked him about his reasons for coming back, he would have told her without hesitation. He did not now think she'd say anything to anyone about his reasons for coming back, so that was a safe topic. But this? He stayed silent. He didn't know what to say, but he did. He simply didn't want to.

When he didn't answer, Tsunade's fingers tightened on his shoulders, and she repeated herself. "Why? Why did you leave?" Her voice was clearer now. What he heard there was making the tightness seep into his chest again. She was about to start crying. He knew she was. Then, he felt the warm wetness of her tears beginning to flow, running down his shoulder, onto his chest. He certainly didn't understand what was happening, and he wasn't about to ask her. She seemed to need this, and he wasn't going to stop her. Just when he thought she was simply going to cry on his shoulder, she said something he never thought would come out of her mouth. "Why…why did I have to miss you?"

His breath stopped. He blinked. His mouth hung open. Then, something in his head just…clicked. Her slapping him, snapping at him, everything. It all made sense now. And so did his headaches when she was around. His lips curled into a smile, and he started to breathe again. Jiraiya took her face in his large hands, and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "I missed you, too." Though he could not see her face, he knew that there was a smile there. He could feel it in the air. It was a soft smile. Leaning down, he kissed that smile.

Then, he heard something that made him want to squirm. There was the sound of a zipper, then something heavy being thrown to the floor. Tsunade was taking off her clothes. _Oh, now, I'm not sure about this…_ It wasn't as if he had never been with a woman. He had been with more than a few. Being a self-proclaimed super pervert has its advantages…but he just didn't know if he was quite ready for that sort of thing with this particular woman. "Tsunade?"

"Jiraiya, please," There was a pleading note in her voice, to be sure, and he was fighting the urge to simply do what she wanted without question.

"Wait, please." His hands found hers in the dark, and stilled them. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?" There was that pleading tone, shot through with urgency. God, this was difficult.

"Why do you want to do this?" Difficult. Very difficult. The words seemed sluggish coming from his mouth, as if they didn't want to be heard.

Silence fell, washing over them both. Then, she said, "You're going to be leaving again, aren't you? When you're finished with whatever you're doing?"

"Yes."

"I can't stop you, and I won't try. But I want to have a good memory with you. It doesn't matter what happens for the rest of my life. I just want to remember a time with you when we aren't at each other's throats." Jiraiya was at a loss for words. That, admittedly, did not happen often. "Please, Jiraiya. What if I never see you again?" The though of any such thing sent a shock of panic through him. He suddenly crushed her to his chest, not wanting to let go.

"No, Tsunade. I'll always come back." At that, he heard a strangled half-sob escape her. "But I think it would be good to have such a memory. As long as you're sure that this is what you want." His chin was resting on the crown of her head. For a long moment, they simply lay back against the wall of the tub, listening to the silence that surrounded them. He didn't need to ever be with anyone like this again. It was so painfully sweet and beautiful, he didn't think he could take it for much longer.

Then, Tsunade's head shifted, and he heard her say, "I'm sure." Her lips pressed against his, softly, gently, relentlessly, insistently. How had he never known this feeling before? Had he not been with enough women to know every feeling that could possibly be given by a woman? No, this was different. He wanted Tsunade, but it was different. It was different because he cared for her. She was the most beautifully evil creature on earth. He wanted to breathe her in, take her into himself. Every part of him knew that this was different, and that there would be no going back to the way he once was.

Hands moved over his skin, and left trails of fire in their wake, a burning just under his skin. His hands moved hesitantly, tracing her jaw line, the column of her throat, and all the while, his lips were on fire, being attacked as they were. Tsunade's hands left him, and he heard cloth ripping, and buttons clattering in all directions as she used her inordinate strength to rip her shirt open. Something similar happened to her uniform pants, and she slipped off her shoes.

When she leaned over onto him, he felt as if he were being burned alive. And damn, but it felt good. He held her to him for a long moment, simply feeling the moment, his hands running through her hair, down her back, sending tiny shivers through her, and through him, as well. Then, she moved against him, and the tremors moving through him weren't so tiny. They grew larger, as did the burning sensation he felt growing in his stomach. Her breath was hot against his neck, her lips barely grazing the skin there, producing a shiver, and causing him to hold her tighter against him. He wasn't going to be able to take this much longer. He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but…it was getting to be a little too much.

With his tightened grip, it was a simple matter to stand. Walking was a different matter altogether. He stepped out of the tub, with Tsunade wrapped around him bodily. He didn't make it very far, though. His knees gave out when her mouth attacked his ear, warm wetness caressing the flesh of his earlobe. They fell to the ground in a slick, wet heap, Jiraiya laying on his back, and Tsunade sprawled over him. He was dazed, to say the least, but the feeling only increased with each movement she made, with hands, or body, or mouth. Soon, there was a flood of sensations all competing for dominance in his mind, but they were all centered on the woman that was here with him, all around him.

Together, they moved, and the silence was filled with murmured admissions of emotions neither knew they had, cries of a desire that had become the entire world, and the beating of two very fierce hearts. When silence fell again, Jiraiya breathed. The tightness in his chest was gone, and he knew it would never return. They lay on the bathroom floor, and they held one another, in the dark. He took her in his arms, and stood once again. He opened the door, and walked in the direction of the main bedroom. She did not protest. He placed her gently on the bed, covering her with the blankets. Sliding in next to her, he pulled her closer to him, and they fell asleep.

Before he was taken by sleep, he said, only half awake, "I'll always come back…for you…"

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**A/N:** I've been thinking as to if I should turn this into a multi-chapter thing, or just leave it as is. Ideas? Let me know via the review button (hint, hint), or pm. 


	2. Good Morning

**A/N:** Well, for those of you who wanted it, I have now made this into a multi-chapter story. God help us all. I'm not sure how much of this I can take. Writing Jiraiya is hard. He's pervvy, not a little concieted, and frankly, I would probably fall head over heels for him if he were a real guy. Therefore, I'm having a hard time not writing him. It's hard to be objective about this when I keep having him do warm and fuzzy things with Tsunade. She's tough to write, too. I think I have the evil part down, but her sensitive side will take some doing. Yeah, this chapter's short. Sue me. I have papers to write, then I can figure out their plan. Oh, Oh! I introduce a new character in this chapter: Hatake Sakumo, later in life known as the White Fang of Konoha. Here, he's a recently promoted jounin.

**Legal Stuffiness:** I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters in it.

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It seemed unusually cold when Tsunade woke. Her eyes opened, and looked around the bedroom, watching the way the sun lit the walls. Contentment had settled over her from the instant she regained consciousness, and she smiled. There were sounds coming from the front of her apartment. Was someone here? It seemed that someone had come in as she slept. Quietly slipping from the bed, she wrapped the sheet around herself, and dug her fingers under the mattress, finding the little bag of kunai and shiruken she kept there for emergencies.

Her mind was not quite panicked, but she still wasn't sure what was going on. If she had been more awake, she probably wouldn't have done what she planned. Crouching low, she made her way to the kitchen, and peeked around the door frame. The angle was bad. She couldn't see them. Forcing herself not to make a noise of annoyance, she silently entered the kitchen swiftly, and threw a kunai at the intruder. Only too late, she saw who it was.

Jiraiya, thank goodness, had his reflexes with him even now. He sidled out of the way, and the kunai embedded itself in the wall. The jounin turned, and handed her a cup of tea. "Good morning to you, too." Her former teammate bent down and kissed her cheek. "I hope that isn't how you always say good morning, Tsunade. Your wall will suffer."

She was speechless. The memories of the night before were just coming back to her, and she blushed. Damn him. Why was she always so unsettled around him? But then again, Tsunade didn't really feel _that_ unsettled. There was a peaceful feeling right at the center of where all her pain seemed to reside, making it easier to bear. Snorting in laughter, she poked his chest, then reached up to take hold of a handful of his hair, pulling him down to look her in the eyes. "No, baka." As she leaned closer to him, she heard a small sigh come from him. _How can such a large man make such a very small sound?_ Her lips brushed against his in the hint of a whisper of a kiss. "That's how I say good morning."

He smiled. "I like that much better than the kunai. Breakfast?"

"Yes, please."

He set about the kitchen, making a late breakfast. Tsunade looked at the clock on the wall to see just how very late it was. Late, but she didn't have any missions for the next week. Not after the last one. That had been hell. Trying not to think about it wasn't really helping. Faces floated in her mind, just beyond sight, but they all seemed to lead to the one she could see. A small twinge of pain in the back of her mind came at the thought of that pale, sickly face. "Jiraiya, your research…"

"I can't tell you, Tsunade. You know—"

"It's about Orochimaru, isn't it?" Her question interrupted him. She was staring at the kunai embedded in the wall over the stove, the way the light from the fluorescent fixture glinted dully on the black metal. Even though she wasn't looking at his face, even though his back was turned, she knew he was frowning. He turned to her, and Tsunade looked up at him, her brown eyes just as troubled as his black ones.

"What happened?" Jiraiya's voice was suddenly alarmed. "If…if he did something to you—" The hand that wasn't holding the spatula half reached out to her, then stopped.

"No, he hasn't done anything to me. Not to me. But I'm afraid. He's become so distant. So many people are dying, and he seems so unconcerned. It's disturbing. How can you watch people dying all around you, and not even care?" A cold feeling had settled itself into the pit of her stomach, like a lump of ice. "I can't be sure, but I think he might be involved. The look in his eyes when he sees death…" She couldn't finish. There was too much danger in voicing suspicions about Orochimaru. He seemed to be able to read her thoughts at times, and there was the old superstition that if you said something bad, it would come true. Deep inside her, she did not want to believe that he was capable of such things.

Jiraiya nodded, taking in this new information. "I may need your help." Tsunade's eyes widened.

"I don't know that I can." She had begun backing away from him. At that, he set the spatula onto the counter, and caught her in his arms.

"He scares me too, Tsunade. That's why we have to stop him." She knew he was right, but she couldn't keep control of that cold fear in her stomach. He seemed to sense this. "The two of us together, we can either help him to overcome his hunger for death, or we can stop him for good. Don't worry. We can do this. I won't let him hurt you." The panic that had been rising in her, clawing to gain voice in her throat, suddenly died a quiet death. Jiraiya would never let anything happen to her. She took a deep breath, feeling her strength return. If she had anything to do with this, she wouldn't let anything happen to him either.

Taking double handfuls of the front of his kimono, Tsunade buried her face in his chest, taking in his scent, and sighed. He was the most gut-wrenchingly annoying person in the world, but she wouldn't have him be any other way. It just wouldn't be Jiraiya, and it wouldn't have been anywhere near as wonderful to be with him like this. She could feel his heartbeat, his breathing, and his hands as they alternately stroked her hair and her back. Pulling away, she smiled up at him. "I'll go get dressed. Can't wear a sheet all day."

"Why not?" He asked, an innocent smile on his face (as innocent as any smile Jiraiya can have, anyway). "I think it's a great look on you." He was trying not to smile now, she knew he was. Damn him. Even if she wanted to, she really couldn't be angry with him right now. She reached around him and plucked the blade from the wall, poking him lightly with it.

"Don't get any ideas, baka. We have work to do. I think we should talk to the Sandaime about this."

His eyes widened, and he shook his head. "No, Tsunade. That is the worst possible thing we could do. I have to lay low. He can't know I'm here, either. Sarutobi-san has always favored Orochimaru, and if we were to say anything against him, even if he should suspect something, it could be disasterous."

"So we're on our own?" She was having a hard time understanding why he didn't want help. If it was about that stupid rivalry he and Orochimaru had when they were kids…no. That couldn't possibly be it. Tsunade was absolutely sure of that. There simply was no way that Jiraiya would be that childish concerning something like this. Annoying he was, and perverted, definitely, but he was not an idiot. The proof that he wasn't an idiot was in his eyes at the moment, when she looked at him, and he was obviously thinking about this very hard.

"What about the Hatake kid?" Jiraiya's pensive expression showed that he was serious.

"Sakumo? Hm. That's an idea. Something of a loose cannon, though, isn't he? Sandaime had had to talk to him multiple times for insubordination." Tsunade frowned at the thought. She wasn't even sure why he'd referred to Hatake Sakumo as a kid. He was only a few years younger than they were.

Jiraiya just smiled. "That's exactly why I want him. He won't feel the need to go running to the Hokage. In fact, I can almost guarantee that he won't. That guy's trying to make a name for himself. If he can do it by taking out one of the biggest threats to Konoha, all the better for him."

"I was thinking he could just get information for us." Tsunade laughed, Jiraiya's overzealous nature causing ripples of amusement to float through her. Her brow creased with a sudden thought. "How do you plan on doing research on him if you can't approach him?"

He just smiled.

Tsunade's eyes widened. "Oh, no. I'm not going near him. He knows he gives me the creeps, and he takes full advantage of it. Our last mission was an exercise in how revolting he is. That is not something I want to repeat." Then, she realized that really, she didn't have a choice. If there was a chance that their old teammate was involved in the disappearances and murders, she owed it to Konoha to stop him, even if it killed her. Sighing, she said, "What do I have to do?"

* * *

**A/N:** Ok. I know it's short. But like I said, I got papers! Gets the ball rolling in the right direction, though, ne? Anyway, it may be a week or so until I can come up with anything else. Not only do I have papers and other assignments, I have to do volunteer work (writing scripts for stupid little kids) and I'm gonna be busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest. TTFN 


	3. Sake and Deception

**A/N:** Well, I am feeling quite sheepish. I have ignored Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru for far too long. In fact, the only reason that I finished this chapter was that I felt guilty. I mean, I love Jiraiya, and Tsunade's great.

Orochimaru: What about me?

antilogicgirl: --rolls eyes--Look, snake-boy, you better just be glad that I'm having an entire chapter focusing on _you_. So, put on your make-up, and be happy, because it ain't happening again. 'Kay?

Orochimaru: --mumbles--

antilogicgirl: What was that?

Orochimaru: I _said_ make with the chapter. (in a mumbling tone) It's all about me...--opens make-up case--

antilogicgirl: --twitch-- Freak. --sigh-- Fine. Just don't interrupt my Author's Note again. It makes it look all choppy.

Orochimaru: Yes, ma'am.

Ahem. As I was saying, yeah, I've been ignoring them for far too long, and now there's this chapter, which is far too short for my taste, but writing Orochimaru is difficult. He's a sick, sick man, and it is very hard for me to concentrate on _just_ him, so I didn't. Warnings? Um, yeah. Orochimaru's evil. That should just about cover it, except for the somewhat-pseudo-sorta-limey-ish-ness at the end. It disturbed me to write it, so I thought you should at least be warned. Of course, any of you who know me will also know that not much disturbs me. But if you're worried that I'm going to kill off any of the Sannin, you need not worry your pretty little heads about that. I am trying to keep this as much to the general story as possible (outside their personal interactions, that is).

**Legal Stuffiness:** I do not own Naruto, or any of the charaters therein. Kishimoto Masashi, sole proprietor.

* * *

**You Give Me A Headache

* * *

Chapter 3:** Sake and Deception

* * *

There was a knock on the door. He ignored it. The knock came again. Only a slight twinge of annoyance crossed over his face at that. Again, he ignored it. Continuing his research, he leaned back on his couch, scroll in hand. There was that knock again. _Insistent, aren't we?_ Sighing slightly, he got fluidly to his feet, and re-rolled the scroll as he went to the door. When it was open, he found Tsunade standing there. "What do you want?" 

She seemed nervous. He knew full well that he made her uncomfortable. It was only natural. There were times when he made himself ill at ease. She looked at him with an expression of concern on her face. "Orochimaru, I was just coming to see how you were. You seemed a little strained after our last mission." Why was she worried? He had never made any indication that he felt friendly toward her, ever.

Orochimaru's head tilted slightly to one side. "I'm fine, Tsunade. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have research to do." At his words, her frown deepened. As he began to swing the door shut, she caught it with her forearm. Annoyed, he pulled the door open again. What did she think she was doing? No amount of concern for him was worth invading his privacy.

In a tone that told of her concern and disapproval, she said, "You work too hard, Orochimaru. Find something to relax yourself, ok?" Then, she did something he had never expected. She smiled at him. He blinked. He nodded, and she seemed to relax. "I'm going to be going to the bar later. Would you like to join me?" When his eyebrows shot up, her lips curled in a wry smile. "When is the last time you _actually_ had a drink?"

"I don't know."

"Exactly my point. I'll expect you around seven." With that, she turned away and walked back up the street, Orochimaru blinking after her. What in the name of the Hokage had just happened? Had she just bullied him into a date? No, that couldn't be it. He snorted. It wasn't as if he was going to go. He would just sit in his apartment and look over the collection of scrolls he had gotten from the library. That was infinitely more interesting than watching a big-breasted woman getting drunk.

One hour later, 6:30 pm…

He examined a scroll on the study of how chakra was produced. It was all very elementary, and he threw it aside. His concentration was suffering, anyway. Why? Because he was still wondering what the hell Tsunade was up to, that why. She couldn't possibly think that he actually _wanted_ to be around her. He'd never liked her, or their other teammate, for that matter. Jiraiya, now blissfully secluded in the mountains, was a pain in the neck, a loser, and a moron. How he became a jounin, Orochimaru had still not figured out. And how the idiot did it on the same day he had was simply beyond him. Finally giving up in his research, he padded to the back of his apartment to shower and change. If he was going to find out what she wanted, he needed to look as presentable as possible.

* * *

When he entered the bar, he pushed the noren aside, and his nose twitched. He'd never really liked the smell of cigarettes, but he supposed he could deal with it. For a little while. Catching a glimpse of himself in a full-length mirror near the coat-stand, he frowned a little. Orochimaru had changed his jounin uniform for a long-sleeved black shirt and loose-fitting pants of the same color. It made him look dead. He really was far too pale, and with the purple tattoos around his eyes, the effect was only heightened. He shrugged. He'd looked worse. 

He looked around, and soon found Tsunade, sitting in a corner booth. Before he could stop himself, he raised an eyebrow. She was wearing a dress. Well, it was more of a stylized kimono that was loosely draped around her shoulders, but…she looked different. The medic-nin didn't wear that sort of thing very often, especially now that she was a jounin, and almost constantly on missions. Being a man who likes legs on a woman, he eyed hers for a moment before walking through the smoky bar. They were, to say the least, not bad, and he got a healthy dose of them from the length (or lack thereof) of her skirt.

There were several other people casting glances in Tsunade's direction, and not all of them were male. She was rather hard to miss, and being that she was dressed that way, he had to wonder if the ensemble was calculated to attract attention. That was exactly what Orochimaru did _not_ want. The last thing he needed was to be noticed and recognized in a place like this. But, he walked forward, for lack of knowing what else to do. The woman soon spotted him, and gave a small wave. She was drinking sake, as he had seen her do many times. As he sat, she raised an eyebrow. "I thought you weren't going to show up."

Orochimaru shrugged. "I got bored." She Tsunade rolled her eyes at him.

"Liar. You needed a break. You look like death, Orochimaru. How long has it been since you just took a day to rest?" Her eyes looked on him with something like concern, and he waved a dismissive hand.

"I can handle myself just fine."

"There's a difference between being able to handle yourself and being healthy. I thought you were smart enough to know that." Taking another sip of her sake, she tilted her head to one side. "How often do you go outside when you aren't on missions, anyway? If you got some Vitamin D into your system, it would work wonders for your health. And sun is good for the mind, too." She bit her lip, her expression turning almost nervous, and looked away from him. "Sorry. I told myself I wasn't going to treat you like I was examining you, and here I am, doing just that." Orochimaru kept his surprise to himself. Tsunade really seemed concerned for him. Had he really been acting so differently around people?

He had his public face: studied courtesy, politeness, and icily defiant indifference toward anyone who came within fifty meters of him with the intention of being antagonistic or idiotic. His private self was…darker. Shaking off that thought, he watched her finish her cup of sake. "Thanks for your concern, but really, I'm fine. I've just been doing a lot of research. I can't just pack up a bag of scrolls and sit on top of the Hokage Monument to study them."

"Why not? That actually sounds like it would be a _good_ idea. What the hell could you possibly be researching that you feel the need to stay inside so often? I really don't think that anything could be worth making yourself sick over it." She said this with a tone that indicated her extreme displeasure over his behavior, but not really expressing any real interest in his research. That was fine with him, because he wasn't going to discuss it with her. When he did not respond, she rolled her eyes. "Have a drink and relax, Orochimaru. You need it." She poured a cup of sake and pushed it toward him. He stared down at the faintly yellowish liquid in the tiny ceramic cup.

He really couldn't remember when the last time he drank was. Taking a deep breath, he picked up the cup, holding it beneath his nose. The acrid smell of the sake assaulted his senses, in a pleasant way. Taking a small sip, he let the sharp taste of it soak into his mouth, and trickle down his throat. As the slight warmth of the drink settled into his chest, he thought that it might not have been such a bad idea to come here.

Just when he was thinking that, he saw her pouring herself more sake, and wondered when she was going to stop. "Tsunade? Do you do this often?" She nodded, eyeing her cup happily. She might be bordering on the alcoholic side. Not that he really cared. As a team member, she was proficient, and as a medic, exceptional. Tsunade served her purpose. That was all he needed or wanted of her. Now, he looked at her face, where there was a pinkish tint staining her cheeks, and wondered if she had another motive.

The thought that Tsunade might want to seduce him was actually frightening. He knew that she was very strong, and that she had no lover at the moment. The combination of strength and repressed sexual frustration might be lethal. "Orochimaru, can I ask you something?" He nodded. "How old were you, when you first killed someone?" Her face wasn't so happy now. Orochimaru could tell that she was thinking of something that clearly upset her.

"I think that I was twelve. Maybe eleven. I don't really remember at the moment."

"I was fourteen. It was a young boy from the Cloud. I crushed him. I…" Her voice trailed off, and he could see tears forming in her eyes. She did not often cry, and he wasn't really sure that he wanted to see it. "How do you stand it? I became a medic so that I wouldn't need to kill. So that I could save people. But I still have to kill sometimes. It hasn't gotten any easier. Has it gotten easier for you?" There was a turmoil in her eyes that he did not understand. If he killed, it was out of necessity. He killed in battle, and for some other reasons he found needful, but he did not let it get to him. He studied her face. She looked like she was going to fall apart. There was a part of him that wanted to tell her that she should just suck it up, because that's what it was to be a ninja. It was their job to kill.

Another part of him was whispering at him that he could tell her things, nice things, to soothe her. Soothe her and make her trust him. She seemed to need it. If she trusted him, it would get her off of his back, but also, he might get a little bit of something else out of it, too. So he did something he never had done before in his life. He smiled comfortingly at her. "Killing is something done because we have to, Tsunade. We are tools. I know that it is difficult, to stay impartial about it. But we have to try. Do you understand?" He was trying not to sound heartless about it, but he wasn't entirely sure that he was succeeding. Well, he didn't really care, per se, but if he could use her to his advantage, all the better for him.

* * *

Watching from a dark and smoky corner of the bar-room, Hatake Sakumo smoked his pipe. Tsunade was laying on thick, waterworks, cleavage and all. Not to mention those legs. If he were an evil bastard like Orochimaru, he would definitely be laying it on thick, as well. And from the tiny smile he saw on the man's snake-like face, this _was_ thick for him. He almost shivered. Almost. Orochimaru gave him the creeps, and really, it took a hell of a lot for that to happen. 

When Tsunade had approached him, he had thought she was coming on to him. Well, she was wearing an extremely low-cut shirt at the time, but she had a man with her, as well, so it couldn't be that. The man in question happened to be Jiraiya, and he knew better than to mess with her when the white-haired pervert was in the room. He'd always seemed to have the hots for that big-breasted woman…Shaking his thoughts away, he continued to observe the tow of them.

Tsunade was talking about death, and how much it upset her. Sakumo was very glad he could read lips. Orochimaru was…comforting her. That was interesting. He made a mental note of it, and kept processing the conversation for further study. After about three more bottles of sake, and an hour later, Orochimaru was helping Tsunade out of the door. Sakumo vanished instantly from his seat, a mere flicker of color as he sped after them, out of the side door. Following them was not a problem, since Tsunade was making enough noise to wake the dead as she tripped on her spike heels and giggled loudly.

He could almost hear Orochimaru's eyes rolling. The man's raspy voice echoed through the alleyway. "Tsunade…should I get you some tea? Coffee?"

The woman was, Sakumo knew, much more aware of her situation than she was letting on. He'd seen her drink three times that much, and still be able to hurl a kunai with deadly accuracy. So, it came as no surprise when she answered the question in a slurred voice, perfectly imitating what a drunken bimbo would sound like. "Nope…I'm fine. Why is it so dark?"

At this, Sakumo suppressed a snort. Orochimaru chuckled, just a bit. "Because it's night. Come on. I'll take you home." Sakumo knew that letting the two of them walk into Tsunade's apartment while Jiraiya was sitting on the couch would be a very bad idea. If they really did end up doing that, he could just pop in and tell the man, and they could both be gone before the pair arrived.

"Oookay. Just, make sure I can get the key in the lock, please?" It was funny what one thought of when they were completely and utterly intoxicated. Though she wasn't, Sakumo suspected that if she had been, that was the sort of thing she would worry about. The two of them continued walking down the street, and Tsunade suddenly cursed violently, "Dammit! My heel broke!" The young jounin watched from a patch of shadow as the woman yanked both of the four-inch heeled shoes from her feet. "Screw my apartment. Can we just go to yours? I think it's closer from here."

"Fine." Orochimaru said. Sakumo was actually a tiny bit surprised about the ease with which the man relented. She was correct, it seemed, because his place was no more than a block from where they were standing. This was not exactly a good turn of events. If the dark-haired jounin was planning anything, he would be on his own turf, which gave him a distinct advantage. In the shadows, Sakumo slipped a black cloth mask over his face. Damn, but this was going to get ugly if things kept on the way they were going.

* * *

Golden sun streamed into the room, and Tsunade suddenly realized that she had a hangover. How had that happened? She'd only had three bottles of sake! Had she really been that drunk? She certainly remembered everything, much to her dismay, which was why she was frowning as she opened her eyes slowly to find herself exactly where she expected herself to be. The room had walls painted a dark shade of purple, and the futon was hard as a rock. The blankets fell off of her as she sat up, and it was cold. 

Holding her head in her hands, she groaned. Laying next to her on the futon, naked as the day he was born, and pasty as any of the Uchiha, was Orochimaru. She wanted to slap herself. Getting close to him did _not_ require sleeping with him. Well, if it hadn't required it, then the operative question would certainly be _WHY_ had she done it! The other jounin stirred, and rolled over onto his back. He pushed sheets of black hair from his golden eyes, and peered up at her. He saw the look on her face, and smirked.

"It wasn't _that_ bad, now, was it?" Correction. She wanted to slap herself, then him. His voice was so…smug…that she wanted to see if a good slap would adjust it for him. But that wouldn't help matters, so she just continued to look at him in feigned horror, until he said, "You don't remember?" Tsunade shook her head wordlessly. A sly smile crossed the pale man's features. "Well, that's what you get for drinking so much, now, isn't it?" For a moment, they just looked at each other, and then she conceded the point.

"Stop me, next time. My head is killing me." Her hands ran smoothly through a simple jutsu and as it sank into her head, the pain dulled. "Ah. That is _so_ much better." She then turned to him and said, "Was it at least worth my headache?"

Orochimaru seemed to think for a moment as to how he would answer that question. He was, by nature, a bitchy little smart-ass, and she had known that from day one. So when he answered her, his tone sarcastic, it didn't surprise her in the least. "I would say…yes. If you like, I can refresh your memory." It took all she had not to jump up from the futon and run from the room. But since she started this, she was going to have to finish it.

His hands were cold. How could human hands, living hands, be so icy? She shivered when he touched her. Why was she letting him touch her this way? Again? Her mind kept telling her to think of pleasant things. Think of good things, like sunshine and rainbows, puppies and kittens…but none of that really helped. Then, her mind latched onto the last happy thing that had happened to her. Jiraiya. She thought of him, and the other night, how it had felt…

Warm. It had been warm. _He_ had been warm. Large hands, clumsy in their caresses, but still heart-felt and wonderful. It was a happy memory. If she thought of that, she could block out the way Orochimaru's hands froze her...his lips felt like frostbite...and how his breath on her skin made her tremble for reasons that she didn't want to think of. Thoughts of warm, scented water overrode the present smells of raw sex and old dust, which seemed to pervade Orochimaru's apartment, those thoughts taking her back to her bathroom, where she had been with Jiraiya. Clinging to those thoughts like a lifeline, she could also cling to clammy shoulders as her body betrayed her mind. It gave in to the cold, going numb and being set on fire at once.

Remembering the earnest tone of Jiraiya's voice when he had tried to stop her, the breathless whispers they shared, this allowed her to drive from her ears the sound of Orochimaru's breathing, his groans, and finally, her own voice. Moans, whimpers, and eventually screams...She didn't want to react that way. But her body had betrayed her long since, and she clung to her memories of Jiraiya, thoughts of warmth and how it felt to really be loved. But then, she lost her thoughts, her happy memories, as a pale face appeared before hers. Then, she was entirely in _this_ moment. She was with _this_ man, a man she had seen kill men without a thought. A man who was looking at her now with the only light of feeling she had _ever_ seen in his eyes. Panic started to rise in her chest, and suddenly, unexpectedly, something happened that she had never intended, never wanted. It had not happened the night before.

Tsunade found her vision shaded by a curtain of dark hair, honey-colored eyes growing larger as he leaned down to her. Purple markings that surrounded those golden snake-like eyes seemed to mesmerize her, and he kissed her. It wasn't gentle by any estimation, and she only found herself responding to it out of sheer instinct. Finally, she found a part of him that was warm. His lips might freeze her to death, but his tongue was warm, and it found its way into her mouth, giving her warmth just when she was sure that she would never feel any such thing again.

When he pulled away from her, there was a strange look in his eyes that she wasn't sure she could identify, but it scared her. He wasn't smug anymore. That was what scared her. The fact that she knew he was human, and always had known, had no bearing on their relationship. She had seen him do inhuman things many times. This was the only real proof she had. Orochimaru was human. He was only a man. And he was looking at her the way a man would. _That_ scared her.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, the icky, icky thought of Orochimaru having sex. He is rather icky just by himself. Now that Sakumo is in the picture, I'm actually getting fresh ideas. So if you're good little boys and girls, and review, I'm sure I can come up with something much quicker than the last update! 

Orochimaru: Um...Sakumo wasn't watching that, was he? And I am _not_ pasty!

Sakumo: Nope. That's just a little too kinky, even for me. Snake-boy, you're white as a sheet. Don't try to deny it...

Tsunade: Are all men sickos?

antilogicgirl: No, some of them are just open perverts...

Jiraiya: or Super-Perverts, like me!

antilogicgirl: --giggles--Oh, I'd almost forgotten about you. Not sure how. --winks at Jiraiya--

Tsunade/Sakumo/Orochimaru: ...

Jiraiya: --rubs hands together, takes out little notebook-- Time for that interview you promised me!

antilogicgirl: Not in front of the others. Later, darling.

In any event, hope you enjoyed the chapter in spite of the twitch-worthy idea of Orochimaru seducing Tsunade. --twitch, twitch...double-twitch--


End file.
